


More than this

by concilium



Series: Journal | Sarah Paulson and characters [1]
Category: Sarah Paulson - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Sad Ending, i cant write happy endings for shit, i dont know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26999203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/concilium/pseuds/concilium
Summary: The relationship between you and Sarah isn't ideal, so you make a decision.
Relationships: Sarah Paulson/READER, Sarah Paulson/You
Series: Journal | Sarah Paulson and characters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970521
Kudos: 9





	More than this

**Author's Note:**

> Work previously posted on Wattpad as -concilium.

_Reader's point of view_

“This is stupid.” Sarah hissed, gripping the crutches tightly as we stepped into our apartment. I tried my best not to laugh at her, but she was being really stubborn and honestly, a pain in the ass since they casted her ankle.

_That was two weeks ago._

“I told you, you could just have waited here while I did the groceries...” I shrugged, placing the bags on the marble aisle. Sarah sat on the couch and after a few attempts to get her foot comfortable she relaxed against the cushions.

She didn't say anything, she just grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and did some work, I suppose. I didn't want to be rude with her, I was supposed to be taking care of her and make this easier for her, but she wasn't making it any easy for me.

She had a lot of work to do, filming two shows with Ryan, working on a movie AND reading some scripts for upcoming projects. Sarah loved her job, and took it very seriously, and I admired that. But it was my girlfriend who we were talking about, and my first priority was to keep her safe and healthy.

Sometimes Sarah was too busy to take care of herself, and I gladly did it for her. We always worked things right I guess, in three years I don't remember having big fights. But when we fought, it was probably because she was sick and didn't stand the thought of being home 24/7.

“Sari?” I called timidly once I've stored everything we got in the market. “Hmm?” Sarah hummed, her eyes fixed on the screen. I walked to the couch and sat next to her, leaving a considerable gap between us.

“You know, you only need to use crutches for another week. Once you get a boot I'm sure you'll be able to make some more work out of the house.” A small sigh escaped my mouth. It wasn't that often that I could have Sarah around the house for more than 2 days.

Those 2 days were always filled with small dates here and there, and amazing... _really amazing_ sex. But 2 weeks, with a sick Sarah, there was no dates and no sex. Just a pissed girlfriend that could barely stand me. Not gonna lie, it made my heart ache a _little_ bit.

“Yeah...I know.” She replied nonchalantly. I chuckled dryly, shaking my head and holding tears. The last thing I wanted was to act like a small child. “Sure, you're probably counting the days to leave... anyway, I'll be on the balcony if you need something.” Sarah looked at me and she was about to say something, but her phone went off and I just walked away.

Placing the canvas outside, I sat on the high bench with my wood palette in hand. We lived across a small, rustic café that I was in love with.  
I thought about the last time Sarah and I went together to have a coffee in the morning, we haven't done that in a while.

I suddenly felt uninspired, and my tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I smashed the palette against the empty canvas, mixing all the colors and making a mess over it.

I felt miserable, and not only today. My life was miserable. I thought I had Sarah, I had my small art gallery and I should feel happy. But _I wasn't._

_I had nothing._

I left the things there and went inside the apartment, and Sarah wasn't in the living room anymore. I went to the bedroom and she wasn't there either. I grabbed my old suitcase and opened my drawers, throwing my clothes inside of it.

My heartbeat was increasing, and I wasn't really sure of what I was doing but that didn't stop me. I heard the bedroom door open and I looked up with tears in my eyes, and Sarah looked just astonished.

“Y/N... what the hell are you doing?” She came closer, holding her crutches the best she could. “Hey, _stop it!_ ” She tried to grab my hand but I was quick enough to stop her.

“I’m leaving Sarah, and it's too late for you to do something about it.” I said, trying to close the suitcase but my nerves were betraying me. I groaned lowly and tried harshly. “No... baby, wait–”

“Don’t baby me, Sarah! You don't give a fuck about me!” I yelled. I was surprised I wasn't crying hysterically at that point. I was such a crybaby, and Sarah definitely was my weakness. “I don't know why I'm still here in first place! I'm not your mom, yet the only thing I've been doing for the last year is take care of you only when you need me... I barely see you, you never make time for me anymore and for two weeks I've been doing everything in my hands to help you, everything! Yet you can't even look at me in the eye.”

With the suitcase in hand, I wiped my tears and grabbed my bag and jacket.

“Y/N... please, please don't leave...” Sarah was crying now, and it hurted like hell. I just needed her to say three words. Three words and I would stay because I love her. “I-I need you.”

I looked at her in disbelief, my lips slightly trembling because I couldn't believe how the day started with both of us laying on the same bed and ended up with a break up.

“I know you do. But do you... _love_ me?” I was afraid of the answer, but when Sarah didn't answer anything at all, that was even worst. The look in her eyes reflected pity by the situation, and I slowly nodded. “You know, I could stay... I have enough love in my heart for both of us... But I deserve so much more than this.”

Sarah followed me to the front door and I felt my tears going down to my neck and inside my shirt. “I’m sorry, Y/N... I'm sorry for acting this way towards you all this time. I promise you–”

“I’ll pick the rest of my things another time...” I cut her off. Sarah chocked on her own tears, and it took all of me not to wrap her in my arms. She wiped her tears away but these kept falling. But this time I wasn't going to be there to pick up the pieces. “...then I'll return you the keys. Bye, _Sari._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally deleted my book, so maybe you did read this :P


End file.
